After all this (concluding with the testimony), I was spiritually (and physically) exhausted. I was so completely tired, that I did not want to get out of bed in the morning. I was somewhat in a depressed state and was yelling in my head "Agh God take me now!" I was in sweats daily and I'm not gonna lie, was not feeling like going to classes at all.
But the Lord kept on telling me that this isn't gonna last forever, and I knew that if I'm going through it, then there is something I need to learn from it. (Mom always says, "Don't go through it, grow through it.")
So, after bible study that thursday, my two friends and study leaders (get to be friends with yours!) went to IHOP. To my surprise, I wasn't the only one feeling drained (you're usually not, it's just that everyone likes to keep their business to themselves), but after a pep talk from one of the leaders, I was temporarily recharged.
I was up and down for a couple of days when I decided to call my grandma to tell her what was going down, and she said something extremely profound, "Well Ryan, you know, you just had a mountaintop experience. There's always a valley after those.." Thank God for old folks!
That reminded me of 1 Kings 19 where after the prophet Elijah created a 3 year drought, called down God's fire from Heaven, called the rain to come back to the land and had all the prophets of Baal destroyed in the name of God, he ended up exhausted and praying under a tree that he might die! "I've had enough, Lord... take my life, I am no better than my ancestors."
If that happened to Elijah, the only prophet to be lifted up to heaven in a whirlwind, then WHY OH WHY would that NOT happen to me?!?
That's the thing, prepare yourself, bc on the journey you WILL get tired and lose strength. However, in that same story, we gain hope that God will REVIVE us.
1 Kings 19:5 "Then he lay down under the tree and fell asleep.
All at once an angel touched him and said, 'Get up and eat.' He looked around, and there by his head was a cake of bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again.
The angel of the LORD came back a second time and touched him and said, 'Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.' So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night."
He will restore you and preserve your strength so don't worry.
--This part doesn't really mesh as well with what I was just talking about, but it is a great message, so I encourage you to read it.--
And the word of the LORD came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
10He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
11The LORD said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
14He replied, “I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”
15The LORD said to him, “Go back the way you came, and go to the Desert of Damascus. When you get there, anoint Hazael king over Aram. 16Also, anoint Jehu son of Nimshi king over Israel, and anoint Elisha son of Shaphat from Abel Meholah to succeed you as prophet. 17Jehu will put to death any who escape the sword of Hazael, and Elisha will put to death any who escape the sword of Jehu. 18Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.”
Note: when you're exhausted, you will feel alone, but you really aren't. However, the Lord will make provisions. Next in the story, Elisha becomes Elijah's mentee until the Lord takes Elijah up into the sky.
God Bless,
Hit me up or comment with questions
Ryan
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The whole point is, DON'T BACK DOWN BECAUSE YOU'RE TIRED! That would be wrong, and lead you away from the cross due to disobedience. Instead, you tell Him how you feel, and He'll handle it. He understands and will give you rest (and a hot meal) when you need it, and in a way that is both beneficial to you and according to His plan. SO, follow the Spirit's lead.
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